May 2019 06

I took an interesting side in an argument this morning.

I went against Jesus.

Talk about a losing battle I suppose, right? I mean, who goes against Jesus? Isn’t that just asking for trouble?

Well, maybe I have an eternal damnantion wish because, yes, I basically gave Jesus the big middle one this morning.

Allow me to explain. I don’t know what’s wrong (or right?) with me these days but for some reason I feel the need to speak out when it isn’t my place. If I get stabbed or pushed onto the subway tracks, well, you’ll know why.

Case in point.

“Do you speak English?”

“A … little.”

I’m coming down the stairs at Dundas West subway station to the platform, and this is the conversation I encountered. A young woman wearing a headscarf was panhandling for change. She was holding what is quickly becoming the customary ‘Tim Hortons’ cup and a sign in big English block capital letters that said something like ‘PLEASE HELP. I HAVE TWO CHILDREN AND NO JOB.’

I’ve seen signs just like this around Yonge and Bloor lately but this was the furthest west.

And I admit, I’ve grown skeptical of this sign and Tim Hortons cup. I’ve seen a man yelling in another language quite agressively and demeaningly at the women who hold this sign downtown. Something is up.

Anyhow, a very tall white guy was talking to this woman – and asking her if she spoke English. He then pulled out a pamphlet and held it very close to her face.

“Well, you should accept Jesus Christ as your saviour,” he said. “And then you’d never have to beg for money again.”

This was too much for me as I was walking past and before I could really think… out it came… Andrew showed up…

“That is such bullshit,” I said.

“It’s not,” he shot back. “I am living proof.”

“It’s a load of shit!”

And I kept walking.

Now, at this point I should explain. I’m all for compassion and love. But the idea that Jesus in particular is more benevolent than any other deity is just fucked. This is thinking that starts wars. And we could do without more of those in my opinion. And I’m not sure what was in my morning banana, but this shit really irked me. Jimmies successfully rustled.

So I went and stood on the platform to wait for the train and I watched as he continued his pitch to her. He stuffed the pamphlet in her cup. And then, of course, he started to stride over to talk to me…

And he stood very close and over top of me, just like he had done to her. About 6’4. All in black. About my age. I turn to face him and I have about two feet of platform behind me, before… tracks.

“Why did you interrupt me like that? That was rude.”

Here we go.

“Because what you’re telling her is bullshit.”

“It is not Bullshit!” he screamed. “When I accepted Jesus as Lord and saviour in my heart, I overcame all my problems.”

“Well, good for you. That’s because YOU did it and Jesus had nothing to do with it. Good on you, man. Congratulations.”

“You shouldn’t have interrupted me.”

“Maybe she has her own beliefs and you should stop pushing yours on her, dude.”

What the fuck was I doing? I really just wanted to get on the train and go to work. And now, of course, people are starting at us and thinking “The little guy is going to get thrown on the tracks.”

“I’m sorry you have so much darkness and hate in your heart but I can talk to her if I want. And you should not interrupt me and you owe me an apology.”

“I’m not apologizing to you. And I, too, can say whatever the fuck I want. And you know the only thing I hate? This fucking conversation.”

“Apologize and let me give you my testimony.”

Ya, ya. I know. I should just walk away, right? But no. I wasn’t going anywhere unless he was throwing me on the tracks. Both of my hands went up in front of him, quite agressively.

“I am not apologizing. Peace and love and all that fucking shit. Get lost.”

And then it happened. He turned around and walked down the platform. Backwards so he could just stare at me and fume. And people were watching. And we both looked a bit nuts. So be it.

The train came.

And this Jesus-hating, darkness and hatefulness in his heart heathen, got on board.

So ya, I went up against Jesus. If Jesus has a problem with that, well they know where to find me.

But as the train rumbled away, I started to think – at least that man was offering her something. I just walked by to catch the train.

Indeed, what would Jesus do?

Your move, JC.