Dec 2018 17

In an effort to be more positive about this time of year, which is tough for me to do to be honest, I’ve decided to pull a Julie Andrews and list some of my favourite things about the holidays. This will be like crunching on hard candy for me and feeling my teeth ache.


I’m a fan of the orange in the stocking toe.
The sound of wrapping paper hungrily being ripped open and flung, forgotten.
Sagging inflatable lawn Santas.
Dogs sporting reindeer horns.
Old chipped and fading tree ornaments.
And gaudy encrusted fake-jewel snowflake pins old women wear on jackets that you know only come out from their closets in December.

I’m a fan of charity bubbles with folded up bills.
Coloured lights, not white (those are for sociopaths).
The sound of Zooey Deschanel singing anything Christmas-y.
Smashing Ginger Bread Houses like Godzilla attacking Tokyo.
Homemade cards.
And the taste of hot apple cider, probably from a powdered mix, in a cheap paper cup that feels like the soggy bottom could give out at any moment.

I like the ‘shoosh shoosh shoosh’ that kids legs in snowsuits make as they walk.
Knowing the Christmas tree drank water overnight.
Laughing at Baby Jesus nativity scenes.
The smell of old Christmas records.
Canned gravy.
The feel of shortbread cookies with sprinkles on them.
Checking the mailbox.
When George grabs his Uncle Billy and screams ‘Where’s the money you silly, stupid old fool!?’
Seeing co-workers hug goodbye with their relief that they don’t have to see each other for a week.
Carrots on rooftops.
Waking up on the 26th with nothing to do.
And most of all, believing in a better world next year.