High Schooler wastes his ‘getting to 3rd base this summer’ story on very first day of school
Sep 2011 06

FujiTamale News, Toronto

In a brazen and stunning move that he regrets now, 13 year-old Casey Johnson wasted no time in telling his friends about his greatest almost-sexual conquest of the summer. “It was ill-timed,” says the grade 10 North Albion Collegiate student of his first day, 9:08 am recounting of his steamy summer liason. “Homeroom attendance hadn’t even been called yet and I told the best story I’ll have all year. Where do I go from here?”

In the excitement of new teachers, subjects and the unexpected development of Melanie Proulx’s breasts over the summer, friends of Johnson quickly forgot his story about some chick named Beth or Brandy or something like that and being at the beach or was it camp or something and anyhow blah blah blah something mama’s boy.