New Argos ad campaign reminds people “you’re rooting for the Buffalo fucking Bills for chrissakes”
Oct 2011 13

FujiTamale News, Toronto

As Toronto football fans turn their attention from the 3-11 Argos to the surprising 4-1 NFL Buffalo Bills, a new CFL and Argonauts marketing campaign hopes to shift some loyalties back to the north.

With the tagline “Buffalo? C’mon be fucking serious dude”, the Argonauts campaign reminds people that it’s a declining town that has not won, and never will win, the Super Bowl. Supported by TV, radio, out of home and social media, pieces will “focus on things that will make you realize you’re actually rooting for Buffalo” says the Creative Director of the unnamed agency.

Headlines in the campaign include “Irv Weinstein is a douche.”, “We still have to brag that murderer O.J. played here.”, “Come for the wings. Stay for the fires in Tonawanda.” and “Support your own loser team instead.”

The campaign will run for 6 weeks or until Toronto Mayor Rob Ford inevitably ruins the team’s momentum by being photographed in a Bills jersey.

86 year-old voter can’t find this <br>‘Steve Jobs’ on ballot anywhere
Oct 2011 06

FujiTamale Breaking News, Toronto

 

 

Inaugural Nuit Blanche 2006 attendance up another 74% this year
Oct 2011 01

FujiTamale News, Toronto

Once again, those in charge of the official attendance numbers for the all-night arts festival have some explaining to do. Although they claim that only 425,000 came out for the first Nuit Blanche five years ago, an increasing number of Torontonians are proving them wildly incorrect.

First it was in 2007, when an additional 150,000 people came forward, telling their friends “You should’ve seen it last year dude”, and in 2008 it was 200,000 saying “We’ve been going, like, every year”. Claims of attendance have been growing ever since, calling the ‘official’ number into question.

With less than six hours to go before tonight’s festival, organizers aren’t taking chances. They’ve already said tonight’s attendance is estimated to have been 14.7 million and also, you drank a lot and smoked a ton of dope and said it was like the most fun time you’ve ever had. Like ever. Except for the 2006 one.

Beloved children’s star, Piglet, found dead
Sep 2011 26

FujiTamale Breaking News, Toronto

 

 

Asian community to punish cyclist not riding on sidewalk
Sep 2011 22

Fuji Tamale News, Toronto

An emergency meeting of the Asian Bicycling Council was held this morning to discuss sanctions against a Chinese man spotted bicycling on the actual road and not the sidewalk. “Everyone knows we ride our bikes on the sidewalk, ” says Zhi Peng, council president. “Kids, strollers, people walking their dogs, it doesn’t matter. He knows better.”

The accused, a Leslieville resident who cannot be identified, pleaded for leniency considering last month’s mild warning issued to an elderly Korean woman with a bundle buggy who didn’t trespass in order to nab some returnable beer cans.

The crackdown from council stems from the threat of BIXI riders and hipsters taking away the title of ‘worst cyclists in Toronto’.

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