CBC accidentally lets out a little bit of pee during 75th birthday celebration
Nov 2011 02

FujiTamale Breaking News, Toronto



Don Cherry mocks lowest Canadian murder rate in 44 years
Oct 2011 28

Fuji Tamale News, Toronto

Statistics Canada released data this week showing homicides are at their lowest levels since the 1960s, but not everyone’s happy about it. “This just proves what a nation of pussies we are”, said Don Cherry, popular host of CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada Coach’s Corner segment.

Despite being under fire lately for labelling NHL players’ calls for less fighting in hockey as ‘hypocritical’, Cherry boldly said the lack of violence in Canadian society “Makes me want to puke. Back in my day, you were expected to finish a guy with your musket, bayonet, or give him the old Chuck Wagon treatment.”

Ontario farmers forecasting excellent incest season
Oct 2011 26

FujiTamale Breaking News, Toronto



‘Slut’ expected to retain #1 Halloween Costume title for 47th straight year
Oct 2011 21

FujiTamale News, Toronto

Just a minute there, Zombies. With a little over a week to go, an IPSOS-REID poll indicates that the traditional slut costume will hold onto its rein as most popular Halloween get-up this year, just edging out the undead ‘Zombie’ phenomenon.

“This shows Canadians are staying with traditional values,” says Miles Steinberg, IPSOS-REID senior analyst. “With the uncertain economic and geopolitical situations, they’re looking at things that are proven to work and just going with ‘Slut’ is one of them.”

Steinberg points out that hybrid costumes were included in the Slut category for the poll, such as ‘Slutty Witch, ‘Pirate Slut’, and ‘Ossington Thursday Night’.

PHOTO: Petr Kratochvil

Occupy Toronto movement holds emergency meeting on font choices
Oct 2011 17

FujiTamale Breaking News, Toronto



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