Canadian Soccer Hall of Fame hoping to move out of parents’ basement with CONCACAF win
Oct 2012 16

Fuji Tamale Breaking News, San Pedro Sula, Honduras

A victory in Honduras today by our National Soccer team could pay big dividends for interest in the sport. “Enthusiasm for Canada’s soccer program would peak with a win”, says Dale Matheson, the 45 year-old curator of the Museum as he enjoyed a grilled cheese sandwich that his mom brought down.

Canada faces off against Honduras in CONCACAF World Cup qualifying match at 4 pm EST. Prayers for a hurricane wiping out the Honduras team have yet to be answered at press time.

Do not call 1-800-TRY-LITTLE-C
Oct 2012 09

My house is now haunted thanks to a bizarre campaign from Little Caesar’s.

Some of you know I love baseball. Yes, that old man’s sport. So while listening to radio broadcasts of Detroit Tigers games late this summer, I kept hearing radio commercials for Little Caesar’s Pizza that told me “Not to call 1-800-TRY-LITTLE-C”.

So what happened if you did? Well, a very convoluted marketing campaign it seems:

The phone number had a recorded message now telling you NOT to go to a website.

The website had a prompt telling you NOT to enter your address.

And when you inevitably did (afterall, you came this far), you got a Google Maps Streetview of your house where ghosts appeared saying it was now haunted unless you went to Little Caesar’s and got a pizza.

I kid you not.

Once again, I will quote Hyper Island and one of their rules… Make it easy on the consumer. I count a lot of unnecessary steps here. I mean, I fell for it but I have a lot of time on my hands.

Oct 2012 04

Have you heard of Facebook? Exactly. So I’m not sure why they need to advertise. They now have over 1 billion users. And certainly the other 6 billion people on the planet know ‘of it’.

And I certainly don’t know why they need to produce such a predictable, cliché, idea-bereft, commercial like this one. It’s not a horrible looking spot. The cinematography is nice. It’s just kind of… boring.

Like LinkedIn kind of boring.

But what do you think?

John Baird’s “So who’s from out of town here?” opening falls flat during UN General Assembly speech
Oct 2012 01

Fuji Tamale Breaking News, New York City

Canada’s Minister of Foreign Affairs sent scrambling after starting his speech with a well-worn line from standup comedy. “He seems to be recovering nicely,” said Basile Ikouebe, Minister of Foreign Affairs from the Congo as he left the auditorium to follow up on a “rumour of a remaining white 64 GB iPhone 5 somewhere in the East Village.”

John Baird continues his speech being delivered on the last day of the United Nations General Assembly 2012.

UPDATES AS THEY COME
 

 

PHOTO: Lucas Jackson/Reuters
Sep 2012 27