– Fuji Tamale Breaking News, San Pedro Sula, Honduras

A victory in Honduras today by our National Soccer team could pay big dividends for interest in the sport. “Enthusiasm for Canada’s soccer program would peak with a win”, says Dale Matheson, the 45 year-old curator of the Museum as he enjoyed a grilled cheese sandwich that his mom brought down.

Canada faces off against Honduras in CONCACAF World Cup qualifying match at 4 pm EST. Prayers for a hurricane wiping out the Honduras team have yet to be answered at press time.

My house is now haunted thanks to a bizarre campaign from Little Caesar’s.

Some of you know I love baseball. Yes, that old man’s sport. So while listening to radio broadcasts of Detroit Tigers games late this summer, I kept hearing radio commercials for Little Caesar’s Pizza that told me “Not to call 1-800-TRY-LITTLE-C”.

So what happened if you did? Well, a very convoluted marketing campaign it seems:

The phone number had a recorded message now telling you NOT to go to a website.

The website had a prompt telling you NOT to enter your address.

And when you inevitably did (afterall, you came this far), you got a Google Maps Streetview of your house where ghosts appeared saying it was now haunted unless you went to Little Caesar’s and got a pizza.

I kid you not.

Once again, I will quote Hyper Island and one of their rules… Make it easy on the consumer. I count a lot of unnecessary steps here. I mean, I fell for it but I have a lot of time on my hands.

Have you heard of Facebook? Exactly. So I’m not sure why they need to advertise. They now have over 1 billion users. And certainly the other 6 billion people on the planet know ‘of it’.

And I certainly don’t know why they need to produce such a predictable, cliché, idea-bereft, commercial like this one. It’s not a horrible looking spot. The cinematography is nice. It’s just kind of… boring.

Like LinkedIn kind of boring.

But what do you think?

– Fuji Tamale Breaking News, New York City

Canada’s Minister of Foreign Affairs sent scrambling after starting his speech with a well-worn line from standup comedy. “He seems to be recovering nicely,” said Basile Ikouebe, Minister of Foreign Affairs from the Congo as he left the auditorium to follow up on a “rumour of a remaining white 64 GB iPhone 5 somewhere in the East Village.”

John Baird continues his speech being delivered on the last day of the United Nations General Assembly 2012.

UPDATES AS THEY COME
 

PHOTO: Lucas Jackson/Reuters