Local man’s New Year’s resolution to continue to be lazy slob going well so far
Jan 2012 17

Fuji Tamale Breaking News, Toronto



Confused about own time zone, Newfoundland rings in New Year <br>at 2:30 in the afternoon
Dec 2011 31

Fuji Tamale Breaking News, St. John’s



Mayor urges Councillors to rest up, return ready to ruin city with fresh eyes in 2012
Dec 2011 29

Fuji Tamale News, Toronto

In his end of year address, Rob Ford looked to the future rather than reflecting on the past. “We’ve got a lot more to do,” said the Mayor on his ambitious goals. “For instance, public transit, parks and city services are in way better shape than I expected after a year of me in office.”

After a 2011 filled with controversy and very little results in finding the “rampant frivolous spending” at City Hall as he promised, Ford is hoping for a smoother coming year and more support from City Councillors. In closing, when asked about his focus for the next 12 months, the Mayor hinted at an exciting new Gravy Bike Spending Streetcar Reading-is-Bad Ferris Wheel Plan that he’ll unveil to Council in January.


PHOTO: Matthew Sherwood, National Post
Santa to rub one out this aft just<br>to get rid of the pre-flight jitters
Dec 2011 24

Fuji Tamale Breaking News, North Pole



IMAGE: © Copyright Rankin/Bass 1964

Ghost of Christmas Future advises to<br> “just get her the goddamn necklace”
Dec 2011 20

Fuji Tamale News, Toronto

All James Switzer of Scarborough was expecting out of his visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future was a subtle warning to be a better person. Instead he got invaluable advice about his bat shit crazy girlfriend.

In a stunning and kindly about-face of character, the famous Dickens literary spirit told Switzer how he could avoid a major relationship problem down the road. “Hey, I remember how my old lady would get at this time of year,” said the all-seeing ghost. “Figure I’d help a brother out. From getting stabbed.”

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